If you run into me out in public in the next couple months, count yourself lucky.
The last week has made me realize I’m not made for this climate.
I don’t like snow. I only like ice in my drinks.
Mother Nature plays cruel tricks on us. Every Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, a factor of what we do means we have to have several delivery vehicles on the road. I put on about 400 miles in that time frame. I have no scientific data, but I have plenty of personal experience. I can tell you that’s when it’s going to snow. I’ll throw some real-time data at you: It happened the last two weeks, and it’s been a miserable experience.
This winter has indeed gotten the best of me, all the way around. If you’ll recall, I had to replace a boiler in our home. That alone should have been my sign to move south! Now, couple that with our erratic weather and throw COVID into the mix, and I’m about to lock myself inside until spring.
I see all these stories on social media about people snowmobiling and ice fishing, and I realize I was cut from a different cloth. Here people are standing on a block of solid ice, and I came home Friday night to my warm home and sat in my chair with an electric blanket
$ FROM 2,299*
covering me. I couldn’t imagine being outside more than necessary this time of year. My most courageous move I make on a daily basis is to start the vehicles in my driveway, especially since on two of them, you have to push one of these buttons to start it with your foot on the brake. So, I have to actually get all the way in the car to do it. Both of these cars have their seats all the way forward, because their regular drivers don’t have the courtesy of moving it back all the way for the big guy who starts the car in the morning. It means I’m outside every morning at least a minute longer than I need to be, and that’s too long.
My home office is less than one mile from my residence. One morning was below zero, and I let the truck run for about 20 minutes before braving the elements again. On the way to work, I crossed paths with someone on a bike. Complete insanity!
And you want to talk about problems, I’ll give you problems. I have to keep that heater blowing at me as I crisscross two states each week to the point where the first thing I do when I get in the home each night is get some lotion on my hands. Yes, I am soft. And yes, I hate winter.
Bring on spring!
BY JOHN McLOONE