BY JOHN McLOONE
It’s getting more difficult to communicate with me.
With the election getting close, I fear going to the mailbox. I’m going to have PTSD, just from reading the mass of political junk the friendly mail carrier is delivering. On any given day, I’m served multiple reasons not to vote for any candidate. They all seem to be terrible people, judging from what I’m being told. One hates babies, the other lets murderers out, and there’s even a guy who wants to take away my hard-earned Social Security money. I’m on the wrong list, I guess, because I have lot of years before I’m going to worry about that.
Does this garbage sway anyone’s vote? It must, or campaigns wouldn’t be dumping millions into the print and delivery.
And does anyone even read it? I have strategically placed our recycle bin between the mailbox and the front door, and 95 percent of the mail ends up in there.
Now, they’ve started attacking my cell phone. It doesn’t matter that I’m on some kind of a “do not call” list, because I get about 20 calls a day, usually from some small town in Wisconsin or southern Minnesota. If it’s not inquiries into my automobile warranty or trying to get me on board with some new insurance, the campaigns have now launched their attack. There is one candidate specifically, whose views I think may even align with my own. However, this person has launched an all-out attack on my cell phone. I get a text message one day attacking this person’s challenger. It tells me I can reply “stop” to be taken off the list. So, I did that. The next day, the campaign launched a cyber-attack from a different phone number.
My email is also under siege. Apparently, someone’s opponent wants to “halve the prison population” and not through programs to make sure crimes don’t occur and people are just nicer and don’t have to be sentenced there. Another candidate just countered with that first guy probably wanting immigrants dropped at my front door. Anyway, maybe they’d be welcome, a few at least. I work long hours, and my wife has noticed that my share of the household chores often goes undone.
And these poll results? Who are they even talking to? I don’t even know if I know more than a handful of people with a landline. If they sneak through on my cell phone, their call certainly wouldn’t be welcome. I don’t think the pollsters even get honest answers anymore. If someone calls asking for info on politics, I’m afraid they’re going to stick my name and number on another list.
As it is, I’ve had enough of this election season. Don’t send me any more junk. Don’t text. Don’t call. Leave me alone!
And then, you may get my vote.