BY JOHN McLOONE
When are we going to have enough roundabouts?
I kind of think those who engineer roadways won’t be happy until every avenue is just a series of roundabouts, end to end.
In my weekend travels, I had the privilege to deposit my darling bride in a location where she could be picked up in close proximity to Lambeau Field to watch the Green Bay Packers-Minnesota Vikings game. A family member had an extra ticket for her use, and I volunteered to accompany her for the drive. She’s spent endless hours chauffeuring me through western Wisconsin and eastern Minnesota, so it was the least I could do.
As of this writing, I actually have a temporary office set up in my minivan, about two miles due north of the football stadium. My plan is to somehow swing south near game completion, scoop her up and whisk her out of there before traffic gets too crazy. I don’t really know that such an escape will be possible, but it’s a plan, nonetheless. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, as the saying goes.
The suggestion was made that I try to find a ticket to the big game for myself. I think I’d rather have a colonoscopy. Maybe that’s an exaggeration. OK, it is an exaggeration. The younger version of me would have jumped at the opportunity. Now, I’m content to listen to the game on the radio, while I catch up on some work that was put off because of the holiday weekends.
I’m thinking of making a reconnaissance mission shortly, to get the lay of the land. I’ve been there before, but there’s been significant development there in the last 15 years since I used somebody’s free tickets and took the kids to a game. And I’m sure there are way too many roundabouts between here and there.
If the game is a blowout, one way or the other, maybe it will be easy. She’ll want to leave by late in the third quarter, and I’ll have her chariot awaiting. Like all effective operations, however, I have to plan for the worst. What if it goes to the last second or, heaven forbid, overtime?
And those roundabouts have really frustrated my travels thus far this weekend.
Most of my delays have been due to a preponderance of these annoying roundabouts. I know the reason for them. Experts want to have us take less lefthand turns, because up to 70 percent of all traffic accidents occur during those maneuvers.
I would venture to guess a good percentage of the rest of the accidents occur when three roundabouts are linked together, three lanes across. Vehicles are cutting in front of you. Signage is confusing. I saw one car make a couple trips around one while I was waiting my turn to enter.
This is the part of the column where I take a break and make my move to pick my wife up, somewhere outside Lambeau Field.
OK, I’m back! I navigated everything those roundabouts threw at me, and she snuck out early. I think we all know why!
I’m headed west in front of most of the other traffic, and all is good in the world!