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“The unrest lasted days, but during that time, the violence spread over a thousand city blocks. It took the police, National Guard and federal troops and the tireless efforts of community leaders to end the violence. In that week, six people died, 700 were wounded and more than a thousand businesses were destroyed.”

Talks of who is at fault, who could have stopped the chaos, who is going to jail, lack of leadership from the Black community, the white community, the mayors, governor, president… Sound familiar?

It should, this is what happened in 1968 in Baltimore Maryland when Martin Luther King Junior was assassinated. It has been 53 years since MLK was killed and yet, here we stand, less than a year after a scene similar to the one quoted above, because of the death of another Black man. The excerpt above was taken from the Archives of the University of Baltimore and their script for “68: The Fire Last Time.” But it could have come from a multitude of descriptors of the events in Minneapolis shortly after May 26th, 2020.

This article is not here to debate the death of George Floyd, the simple facts are, a Black man died under questionable circumstances, the questions around those circumstances have yet to be answered in a court of law with the needed supporting evidence. The rest of the events that unfolded have led us to this point in time and beg to have many questions answered away from the trial.

Where do we go from here? How do we heal as a nation, a state, a community, a neighborhood and perhaps, the most important question right this second. . .?

What have we learned?

We have learned that people are angry, people are sad, people are scared, some are clueless, some are just blatantly evil, and some outwardly racists. We have also learned that many people are compassionate, people are hopeful, people are empowered, GROW

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intelligent, kind, caring, loving, supportive, most are good or great, and so many are simply accepting.

The good news is, the latter, more positive view of the world is the majority of people. If we stop and listen to our neighbor, we will learn that we are not that different from each other.

We all want our kids to grow up to live a long, happy, healthy life. We all want our families to come home at night. We all want to be successful and to see our neighbors be successful in life. We all want to love one another and to be loved.

For many African American families, events like the Floyd death increase the fear in parents. To hear a man or woman talk about the fear they have for their children to go to the park or the store is heart wrenching. A genuine fear that a child may not make it home because of an interaction that goes bad due to the color of that child’s skin. To some, that fear may seem irrational, but to others, it’s reality.

So, what have we learned?

February is Black History Month in the US and Canada, and has recently began to be observed in Ireland, the Netherlands, and the UK. As Black History Month comes to an end, a small group of residents of Cottage Grove and the surrounding communities are continuing their efforts to foster not only healing, but understanding, friendship and growth between all community members.

This group grew from a series of conversations around racism in local communities, focused on experiences in Cottage Grove. Cindy Bandars-Gish, Eric Morgan and Pastor John Magee of Light the Way Church in Cottage Grove met to just talk shortly after the incidents in Minneapolis.

Bandars-Gish recalls her shock watching things unfold in Minneapolis, “not that I wasn’t already aware of what was happening in our world, and had been, what I feel, aware and trying to do whatever my part was whatever that looked like, before that day. I was just… that day. It’s just too much. It was just one day too many. And of course, everybody was kind of locked up in home, right? We were all locked up at home. I’m remarried and between the two of us we have five grown sons that are pretty close to grown. The last of them was in his final steps of college and so he was home with us. His name is Ben, and Ben and my husband, Kevin and I were just like frozen, watching this unfold on the television and, and, and having these conversations about what in the hell is happening? How is this happening?”

Morgan was surprised that someone was reaching out to honestly look at making a difference, “I was impressed with, you know, somebody coming and having an actual concern with what they saw. Instead of the old fashion ‘it’s not my backyard, it doesn’t have to do with me, I’m not prejudice. That’s not my situation. I didn’t know the guy.’ So, when pastor called me and we met her, I was impressed with her sincere passion for wanting to do something about it, and I was more I was more impressed with her honesty. But it’s one of those things where even when meeting Cindy, and it’s something that I speak for me, I’m always open to see how person reacts when they see me. Because I’m Black. So I’m always like, okay, what’s her response gonna be? you can tell that she was comfortable. And that’s something that we’ve been trying to teach for centuries, there’s nothing different besides the color of our skin. So where does this fear come from?”

Morgan explained how people often react to him at the first meeting, “[Cindy] didn’t have a look on her face, like, Oh, no, he’s Black. You know, I mean, like, which I get a lot, I get that quite often, especially with my name. So, meeting Cindy, and me knowing the deep-rooted racism that I experienced here in Cottage Grove… I have a voice to talk of springing off of my pastor and close friends of mine that are of color, a couple of friends of mine that aren’t. For me, it’s like I can’t be the only person speaking. So, when she talked to me and Pastor that we were trying to come up with some creative ways to have a format so we can get together and talk about what’s going on in our city. And if we start here, and get the awareness out here, what does that look like? So, with us talking to get our heads together, we came up with Cottage GROW.”

Pastor John sat quietly during the first 15 minutes of the dialogue, observing the interactions, listening to the stories, “I like my discipline in life. With every trauma, drama, explosive situation… ‘SO what’s next?’ SO is an acronym for me. So means Solutions, Opportunities, or both. People have good hearts. We don’t always do the best things, but deep inside, what you’ll see in crisis is that you’ll see people who are either looking for a solution or opportunity while they’re expressing their truest feelings and bewilderment. With meeting Cindy, it was apparent that she was someone who was looking for a solution or an opportunity. We talked and we found both. I’ve had to be kind of measured about it. Because people have different opinions about this. They have different feelings about it, and I had to be very mindful and navigate how we do it. But it did start with dialogue.”

The dialogue went back to Martin Luther King Junior and his “I have a dream” speech. 1,667 powerful words spoken from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC, August 28th, 1963. The following 147 words are commonly the most remembered.

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’ I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.”

Pastor John describes how the I Have a Dream speech helped found Cottage GROW, “Cottage GROW is a gathering of community members devoted to this dream of a safe social environment for all people of the community. This was our opportunity to look into this, and so we believe Cottage GROW will grow through Dialogue, Relationship, Education, Awareness and Meeting that DREAM. That is what the acronym DREAM means.”

The group has been meeting as best they can following safe COVID guidelines. Gatherings in the summer and fall were physically distanced. When the weather turned colder, they went to ZOOM meetings and small groups in person where they could be spread out far enough.

“This is a safe place. We’re here just for dialogue. There are no stupid comments. But you have to be ready for point, counterpoint, and then discussion. And that’s how it all began,” Pastor John pointed out.

Point, counterpoint, discussion. An idea that seems lost in todays social media, cancel culture, age. Too many people have closed their minds to the ideas that others may think differently, and they would rather cancel them than have discussion. But the open mindedness and willingness to learn must come from all involved.

The group held events outside and started a drive-in movie night that happened to coincide with the death of Chadwick Boseman, the actor that so wonderfully portrayed Marvel’s Black Panther. That opened up other opportunities for dialogue.

Involvement of the greater community has been key. Members of the Cottage Grove Fire Department and Police Department have been on board since the early stages of Cottage GROW.

“The fire trucks all came was the kids could come the police department came in. Kids came from the neighborhood, we had a really nice turnout,” Bandars-Gish explained.

“A very good turnout, it was wonderful,” Morgan continued. “And I want to make sure you recognize that fact. For me, it was something where a lot of the situation that I dealt with some of the racial differences in Cottage Grove with the police department, the Chief of Police Pete come to some of our meetings, and then give me his number. And we’ve been talking back and forth. That’s huge for me, because we developed a friendship now.”

Morgan went on to explain a conversation he and the chief had about awareness.

“At one of the meetings, I’m not going to remember exactly what he said, but. He walked in behind me and intentionally looked at how people were watching other people. And he said, ‘I was shocked at how many white people were staring at Black people or people of color in Hy-Vee and following and staying out of the way. He said it was just overwhelming to me,’. He said, ‘and now I’m more aware of it.’ That’s something we’re working on, that’s the point of this. Awareness. We can’t change everybody, but if you get an awareness out and you’re able to at least say, Hey, I see them. I can empathize with that. I never paid attention to that before. And now I’m paying attention to it. So, when we asked the police department to come out, they did. Anything we did, they would just show up and participate. And to me that community, of just bridging that gap with people, who we have several people of color again, and all that. Just bridging that gap with them, and them seeing the police department, smile and let them pet the dogs, and the fire department let them in their trucks and hang out. That to me took a lot of scarring. And a lot of it helped heal a lot of stuff inside of people that were struggling with that.”

The four-way conversation went on for an hour and a half. It was a great conversation, four people, just hanging out talking with an adorable pup bouncing around begging for attention. This is how the gatherings go. People talking, getting to know each other, learn about each other’s differences and life experiences regardless of your skin color and it’s lead by some pretty awesome people. Awesome people you should get to know.

The invite to join Cottage GROW is always open, they ask that you come with an open mind and an open heart and be ready to be engaging and kind. As long as COVID restrictions are in place, they are requiring a face covering and good physical distancing if the meeting is in person.

To learn more about Cottage GROW, visit them on Facebook at www.facebook.com/cottageGrow2020 or email them at [email protected]

A huge thank you to Eric Morgan for reaching out to The Journal and for putting this whole thing together, and to Cindy Bandars-Gish and Pastor John Magee for participating.

What have we learned? We have learned that we need to be compassionate and kind to people. We have learned that awareness of other people’s fights is important to understand. We have learned, that humankind isn’t a question of how much melanin is in your skin, it’s the content of your character. So what are you going to do to DREAM and GROW?