That doesn’t bother me

I’m going to tell you something that doesn’t bother me at all.

There are some things that really bother me. This isn’t one of them. Honest!

My darling bride and I are kind of hunkered down these days, waiting on the vaccine that will save the day from this dreaded pandemic. Obviously COVID-19 bothers me, and I’m trying to take a few measures to make sure it doesn’t bother me a whole lot more.

This article may be one of the only ones you read today that isn’t necessarily about the pandemic, but the pandemic has largely made it happen.

Aside from the threefour nights a week I work, I’m parked right next to my lovely wife on our recliners. One of us is usually dozing off because he/she puts in some long hours the first several days of the week, and he/she is very tired. OK, it’s just he. It’s me.

Now I like to chat on the phone with family as much as the next guy, but I don’t get as many opportunities to as the “gal” next to me in the recliners.

From my Pandemic-era research, I have learned that she is significantly more popular than I am.

Not that I’m jealous or anything, because I talk to enough people during the day that I don’t need my phone to ring at night. In fact, if it was a contest, I can guarantee you I get more calls than she does.

Here’s the difference, the people calling her all like her a lot. Some of the people I talk to during the day aren’t as friendly. But that doesn’t bother me either. It could be that I don’t want to talk to those people either, but I have to because they keep ringing my extension, so I answer it.

But let me get to the heart of the matter here. We’ve already come to the realization that my wife is more popular among our family than I am. She should be. She’s nice, like all the time. She teaches second graders, so you know she’s got to be a sweetheart, and I’ll admit she is.

And there’s nothing that bothers me about her nightly hours-long stints on the telephone. Nothing at all. Not even the fact that she is usually talking to the people on speaker phone. That isn’t a pet peeve of mine at all. I absolutely love hearing both ends of her conversation, especially when the next morning she’ll fill me in on what’s going on with the kids.

Don’t tell her, but I already know, because she had them on speaker phone!

This would have been somewhat bothersome to the pre-COVID-19 John McLoone. However, the pandemic has bigger things to be bugged by, like people who go to the grocery store without a mask on.

That bothers me. The speaker phone calls, I love them! Keep them coming!

Let’s keep this column our secret. My wife is going out of town for a few days this weekend, so let’s see if we can keep the peace and hope she’s too busy to read it. We certainly don’t want to have to give her equal time and find out what doesn’t bother her!

by John McLoone